According to Yahoo Sports, newly minted Right Fielder for Life Jayson Werth is gonna need a trim. Said GM Mike “Rizzo” Rizzo, ”The team policy is, facial hair is OK but it’s got to be groomed. It’s got to be nicely … professionally groomed.” And as viewers of the Phailers’ playoff run and of the Fox [...]
Archive for the ‘Players’ Category
Sun Rises in East: The Jesus Injured Again
The bad news: The Jesus is off of his Venezuelan League team’s roster with an injury. The good news: The Jesus hurt his calf, not his shoulder again. And even a Nats player probably can’t turn a charlie horse into a two-year injury, so we may just live to see The Jesus come again. Supposedly, [...]
Hundreds for Posey but Not One Vote for Natsiah
If Jeannette Rankin were still around to vote for Rookie of the Year, she totally would have cast her lone ballot for Strasburg. But Washington’s most famous antiunanimitarian was not available, so the Natsiah got fewer votes for Rookie of the Year than league-average hitter Jose “Who?” Tabata. Though to be fair to Tabata, he plays [...]
Origin of the Silver Slugger
Far across the galazy, a young third baseman on the planet Zim-Ra trembled before the world-consuming might of Galacticus and weighed an awful choice. He could have the cherished Gold Glove if only he would serve Galacticus as his personal herald of evil and destruction. Surely a small price to pay for universe-spanning power and [...]
